I just spent my morning playing a live-action version of the gross game. I awoke early to a horrible, awful, disgusting smell. It was truly horrific. The kind of smell where your nose seems to curl inward on itself in some sort of self-defensive attempt at saving what little sensory receptors it can from the odoriferous assault.
I have to be honest here and tell you that I wondered for a moment if the love of my life snoring blissfully away next to me just had really bad gas. WHAT?! It's happened before. I mean, I love the man, but... seriously. (Is it just a guy-thing? And I know you ladies know what I'm talking about!) Yet, this was bad even for him.
I pulled on my running gear, thinking it was about time to go anyway, and maybe it was just the local farmers spraying manure on the fields again. I stumbled down the stairs, and the smell just kept getting worse. I started opening windows. I opened a window where my dog, Lily, was crated and then continued on. Lily suddenly started yipping and making weird noises, and that's when I put it together (Hey, it was 5AM, and very little of my brain functions at 5AM - which is why it's the best time to run!)
You see, my parents brought their two cats with them... and their cat boxes which they've put in some interesting places. After two years, my lovely Labrador finally discovered the litter box. Being that she's a dog, Lily did what all dogs do when they discover the cat's litter box.
Let's just pause for an "EW!" moment.
Right, well, it turns out that this whole endeavor did not sit well with Lily's stomach. As in one giant pile IN the cage, and then a whole lot of you-don't-even-want-to-know outside of it, on the walls and floor. Honestly, I haven't ever seen anything that bad. We had to lift the entire crate - with Lily still in it - and carry it out through the front door and into the yard. That's where I stayed, spraying, and scrubbing everything. Including Lily.
My husband tackled the inside, which was the really awful part - and that's saying something considering the mess I faced. He's my HERO. The next person who asks me how I made it through 20 years of marriage, they're going to get that moment as an answer. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
|The guilty, all freshly washed and smelling like coconut and sunshine. Seriously, why doesn't MY shampoo smell like that?! Does anyone know of a good brand that does, for humans?|
Our running block was totally shot, and I was sick to my stomach from all of this, but we decided to squeeze in a short (20 minute) run after everything was clean, bleached, and/or scrubbed within an inch of its life. So we headed out thinking that things could only get better. Right?
That was when I started noticing all the frogs. Frogs squished all over the road. My already irritated stomach started lurching, and I tried really hard not to look at anything on the ground. You know, that runner's gaze where you sort of make things blur except for passing cars and potential ankle twisting obstacles? I was going for that, but then we came upon what had probably been the biggest bullfrog in Vermont history. Freshly squashed, right in my path.
Now, I am normally not squeamish. I have cleaned up the most vile things as a mom, and not even batted an eye. I dissected frogs in school, and put up with all manner of nasty things without issue. But after my morning? That bullfrog almost did me in. I've only come close to throwing up a couple times while out on the run, but always because I had pushed too hard physically. This was the first time I contemplated finding a bush to throw-up in just because I was finally that grossed out.
I managed not to lose it, but I did have to stop a moment. That's when I took this picture:
We were running in some pretty thick fog. On the opposite side and in front of us, the fog looked like a giant black wall. It was pretty creepy. My husband even said "I've seen this movie. This doesn't end well for the runners!"
I'm really hoping the rest of the day gets (and smells) better! I'm off to help my parents move the last of their things into storage or in with us. For the record, I've been bang on track and even weighed myself - even while things are happening like my dad having a bowl of ice cream right in front of me, knowing that we don't do that and it's my favorite. Bang. On. Course. I have a lot to say about this, but my morning just blew anything else I had to say out of the water.
I will say I can laugh about this morning. Now, anyway. Have a great day!