I'm not a good stage-mom. The truth is that when my daughter started showing an interest in being on stage singing and whatever else, I was a bit baffled by it. I can't even watch the auditions for American Idol without experiencing extreme discomfort! The very idea of being on stage, the center of attention - it flat out terrifies me!
I didn't jump in and get her every class and personal coach from the age of six-months on, so apparently I've already failed epically as a mom who has a daughter who likes to perform (so I've been told.) Still, she loves it, I'll support it. Well, I support her. The theater people, I'm finding a bit frustrating.
Last night, I sat up with my daughter until 11PM waiting on callbacks from her audition for the school musical (they're supposed to do one musical and one play, but apparently as my high school did way back when, they don't understand the concept. Why do a play when you can sing and dance too, I guess?) She apparently nailed both her dancing and her singing audition and her reading audition. She felt she did extremely well, and didn't mess up at all. So, she was very confident we would hear from them.
And then the minutes simply ticked by.
On Facebook, some of the more obnoxious girls started posting about how they got callbacks. Oh, that's not the obnoxious part. No, that part is where they go on to brag about how they knew in advance they'd have a part because they had private lessons with the director and had since they were six, and how he only tends to pick those people he's worked with before (which seems to bear out when you look at his casting patterns. Awesome for a teacher to do that to these kids in a SCHOOL production, isn't it?) And they're related so they knew that their *whatever-relative* was going to pick them because they always do (everyone out here is related if you're from Vermont, but whatever. We're not, for the record, so that's another strike against us that locals like to remind you of at weird intervals.)
It irritated me more than my daughter, because as her mom now I feel like I've somehow disadvantaged her because I didn't have her in every lesson possible. I had a falling out with one friend long ago who literally had her 2-yr old in singing and piano and dance lessons, 5 days a week and it only ramped up from there. She's amazing now, truly, but if you ask her if she loves it, she doesn't know how to answer (I know because I asked when I saw her last Spring. I got a "well, I guess it's OK" whereas my daughter loves it all.)
I just feel like shouting "HOW the heck was I supposed to know?!!" And that also begs the question of if I had pushed her into all those classes at those same ages, would she still love it now? I don't know. I just know that it's really hard as a mom to sit there and wait by the phone with an excited daughter who knew she did really well and did her best, and not have the phone ring.
I just want her to be happy.
I also think I want her to be a scientist or something that doesn't involve us constantly sitting by the phone after she puts herself out there. She may be cut out for it, but it's killing my nerves! This is so much worse than watching American Idol.
In other news, I'm still sticking with my Xbox-guilt-training. I got my cardio workout in today, which was... less than I had hoped for, so I am going to go for a walk or a run in a few minutes. Which is good, because my Fitbit buddy finally got hers, and now the 10,000 steps challenge is ON! Which is good, because without adding in my running or extra walks, the steps come in low. Really low. The Fitbit isn't a total reflection of things however. It sees a heavy weight workout the same as you sitting and watching television, so really it's just one more tiny tool. Well, one where friends can rag on one another about not getting their steps up, but I digress.
Got a Fitbit and wanna add me as a friend? This is my link.